Westboro Interfaith Council

WARNING: This post not only features a shorter f-word, but places it on the lips of most of the church folk in Westboro.

A meeting of the religious people in Westboro (on the west side of Topeka, Kansas) was convened in order to present a more balanced view of the community's religious congregations regarding homosexuality than has been presented by the Westboro Baptist Church. These are their responses. [Special thanks to Corey Y., who collected some of the most enlightening answers.]

  • Westboro Baptist Church: God hates fags.
  • Westboro Christian Fellowship: God just really hates fags.
  • Westboro First Ward, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: God hates fags and their minor children.
  • Westboro Assembly of God: [speaking in tongues] Zabu guda widok ku. [interpretation] God hates fags.
  • Holy Cross Greek Orthodox Church of Westboro: We have known of God's hatred of fags for hundreds of years longer than you.
  • Sacred Heart Parish of Westboro (Roman Catholic): God hates fags, but is surprisingly forgiving toward pederasts.
  • Calvary Episcopal Church—Westboro: God hates fags, but has suspiciously fabulous tastes in sacred vestments.
  • First Lutheran Church, Westboro: People are justified by faith (but somehow fags are not).
  • Westboro First Presbyterian Church: God hates whom he will hate, including but not limited to fags.
  • Westboro Church of the Brethren: We don't need creeds to know that God hates fags.
  • Amish church in Westboro: Gott hasst Strom und Vags.
  • Mennonite church in Westboro: Actually, God is cool with electricity, just not fags.
  • Westboro Society of Friends: We are silent, for much of our meetings, on the issue of fags.
  • Westboro Methodist Church: God has a personal relationship of hatred with fags.
  • Westboro Holiness Church: God hates fun. And—by extension—fags.
  • Westboro Seventh Day Adventist Church: God hates fags and He's coming to get them soon.
  • Jehovah's Witnesses Westboro: God hates everyone except for 144,000 Jehovah's Witnesses. We don't know who they are, but they are most certainly not fags.
  • Westboro Orthodox Synagogue: Jews are G-d's chosen people, even the fags, even though fags are an abomination and shames to their families, people and G-d; when Moshiach comes, the stay on the death penalty will be lifted and the mitzvah of stoning fags to death will be restored—G–d willing.
  • Westboro Conservative Synagogue: Better a Jewish feigele than a goyish fag.
  • Westboro Reform Synagogue: We don't know whether G-d hates fags; it is possible that She has been misrepresented by men.
  • Westboro Reconstructionist Congregation: There is no G–d, yet She still hates fags.
  • Westboro Unitarian Universalist Church: God—if God exists—may be somewhat displeased with LGBT people.
  • Church of Scientology of Westboro: David Miscavige hates fags.

David R. Mortensen

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA

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